The X-Ray X-Perience

The nurse – she has that gentle kindness in her eyes, that probably comes from watching a lot of near-naked men with broken bones. Men, whose spirits, and probably one other un-fracture-able part (the miracle of cartilage), rose at the sight of this gentle, delicate lady.

I pose awkwardly against the wall, perched on a stool, in just my underwear – one leg straight and the other bent at the knee, body turned to the left and yet facing the front.

In a moment of carpe-diem rush of blood during a jog last month, something clicked in my knee and since then it has been sore. I have come to get an X-ray done of the sulking knee to understand how deeply it is hurt at my impetuosity. And I have always had a niggling lower back ache, so I decided to get an X-ray done for that too.

Standing in that awkward way, I feel like one of those hot models posing for an impossibly steamy photo shoot in a dingy, sweaty room in Faridabad. I almost pout. And that’s an easy thing for me given my “extrovert” teeth – my upper teeth sneak out a couple of millimetres outside my mouth, even when I am shut up as a clam. Well, what can I say, my teeth love to see the world.

Having “set” me up, the lady hides behind the door, while the male nurse disappears into a closet, with shouts of “Sir, Don’t move, don’t breathe in, just stay as you are”, as if I were an appeasement tied to a stake, offered up to some gigantic ape-god of the jungle. Hi there, Naomi Watts. We audition for King Kong practically every day in India’s X-ray labs.

The machine makes a huge whirring sound, which ends in a big clap. The male nurse and the lady walk in, still astonished to see me breathing, alive, and not carried away by Kong. They decide to make another go of it. This time in a beach shoot. They make me lie down on a bunk, sideways, with about 70% of my tummy touching the bunk. A small piece of cloth is thrown over my hips, and my single garment of modesty is pulled down a couple of inches at the back. I pull out my best beach-hot-smoking look – hot enough to turn grainy sand into flowing glass.

And once again, they scurry to hide behind doors, shouting, “Sir, Don’t move at all! And don’t breathe in! OK, Understood? Don’t move! Don’t move”. Dude, if I stay in this position for another five minutes I may not be able to move again for a few months!

Another whirring and a bigger clap.  

They come back into the room. And in a complete matter-of-fact manner that piece of cloth is whipped away, I am told to get back into my clothes and scoot out the room. Not even a smile from the gentle lady.

I got the results of that X ray today: lower back – perfectly fine, knee – hmm…a little more cartilage would have been nice, dignity – shattered. 

aah....we can log in again from office ..

*naughty wink*

Plays - Home made, served fresh, with love and thoughtfuless

The experience of a play.

The experience of watching a play is so different from watching a movie. I know I am just restating something very obvious.

Yet, the feeling is distinct and so delicious that it bears my repition.

It is like going to a restuarant that serves authentic native cuisine, cooked by a chef who cooks to indulge his love of the art of cooking, and not as a means of commercial survival. It was a lot like the experience of eating at Wai Yu Mun Ching - everything tasted fresh and delicate and thoughtful.

And there is that delectable aftertaste to the experience....subtle, layered, and deep. 

Yaa Sai !

साँझ के सूरज में
धरती की धूल भी
सोने सी दमकती है

दोपहर की तमतम गर्मी में
झील का ठंडा पानी
चांदी की सिक्कों सी चमकती है

भोर के सुखद आलिंगन में
पाँव तले  ओस लदी  घाँस
मखमल सी फिसलती है

मामूली सी धूल
निश्चल सा पानी
पाँव तले की दुर्बल घाँस
रवि की अलग अलग छवि
में अनजान ही निखरी है

या साईं

मेरा गुस्सा, मेरा प्यार
मेरी हिम्मत और मेरा डर
मेरी वादियाँ मेरे शिखर
मेरी लडखडाहट और मेरे पर

यह सब

मुझ मामूली, दुर्बल, निश्चल में
तेरी ही तो हलचल है

..thus endeth....

was just wondering what my epithet should read....were it to be true and objective....

"Thus endeth the insiginficant, temporary, not terribly remarkable story of Pradeep Shastry Vedula.....and even if it were significant and remarkable, what would it matter now to him"

And there might be an annexure, or a hyperlink in this day, which would go on thus...

and to his very last breath, he kept on believing that what he believed was most important, that he had the best intentions in everything he did - and "best" was by his own definitions, 


till the very end he kept complaining that the world didn't quite work as he believed it should


till the end he kept believing that making more and more money was really important.....(though it's true that when reminded on his deathbed that his sons will have a comfortable life thanks to all the hard work he put in making money for them, for some weird reason he didn't seem comforted by that thought..)


till the end he believed ....


till the end he could not really decide....


....that his life mattered any more than that of a sparrow...

A Rockstar Movie !

just back from seeing Rockstar.
Simply put, it is a movie that "grips".
A movie about the grandeur of magnificent pain...

....such life-defining agony that the muffled hum-drum of a comfortable, predictable daily life almost appears to be hiding from one the sense of being truly alive....


ज़िन्दगी में ऐसा दर्द तो हो
जिससे जीने का एहसास मिले
आने वाले लम्हे का बेसब्र इंतज़ार हो
यूँ न लगे दबा हूँ मुर्दा लम्हों के तले

ज़िन्दगी एक रुई के गांठे सी है
सुन्न है ! भरी है, पर खाली है....
कोई आकार नहीं, कोई विकार नहीं
न अज़ान है और ना कोई गाली है
                   बस, बेमतलब, निस्पृह और खाली है
                                                    ...............खाली है

मौत की देहलीज़ पे लगे,
कि मौत नहीं क़ुरबानी है !
या मौला! .......तेरी नज़्म......तेरी ग़ज़ल,
हर एक ज़ख्म तेरी निशानी है !

यूँ पैदा होने की
यूँ जीने की
                     यूँ मर जाने की
कोई वजह तो हो
कोई वजह ना सही, कम से कम एक बहाना तो हो

कटे नस से बहता हुआ खून ही सही .....
पुलिंदों को हिला दे, ऐसा कोई जूनून ही सही !!!!
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दुआओं के दरख़्त पे ये क्या धागा बाँध रहा हूँ
या खुदा, ये मैं तुझसे क्या मांग रहा हूँ !!!

It Is Done ! :)

Long ages ago - when Blackberry wouldn't advertise, Rakhi Sawant was a minor nuisance, Ali couldn't get married - I had written a post about "Vakola ke Chiraag".

Today, it gives me great pleasure to share that it is done ! :)

we took our first class on 5th of October 2010, and we have had classes every weekday since then....thats a solid 2 months of tremendous support and commitment from my colleagues in APL.

The support from my friends in Asian Paints has been simply amazing !

They have supported me and held me to account.

Whenever I have had the silent, sinister urge to just take it easy for a while and let things drift they have jerked me back to the game that we are upto, the difference we are out to make.

Its a team of 15 teachers now (3 every day - 1 each for class 4, 5 and 6) and there are 15 to 18 students who turn up regularly...

From what we have heard from other well established NGOs doing similar stuff we must have done a real great job to have kept the students interested for so long.........and yes, there is still a long way to go.....we need to keep on figuring out how to teach Maths to these predominantly Tamil medium students......how do we start making English more real and easy for them......and so on.....and we are on it......we are making progress....and in each class we are making a difference, how so ever slight, how so ever minuscule, but it is a grain in the right direction......

We have also had one meeting with an amazingly energetic lady by the name of Prachi Mangaonkar who is with an NGO called Akanksha who in half an hour's time made it quite clear for me as to what needs to be done...

I am attaching here a couple of pics I took in today evening's class.......the only adults u see in these pics are Gopal M V (he has never missed a class !) and Kiran (our 1st teacher) from my office and Nagappa Ji, a a man held in great esteem by the community these kids come from and who offered us the temple premises and set this teaching thing going..................more to come as we roll along....

P.S. - Darn !!!! I still dont know how to arrange the pics in my blog......guess i just have to wait for that level of enlightenment for a while.....