Wish You a Happy Married Life - The Longest Oxymoron in the world????

I looked outside the big windows and realised it was night.
But it was not dark.
The thousand, mundane lights of Mumbai sat sulking outisde like rows of sullen, tired beggars.
My fingers made some rude love to my heavy eyelids, rubbing them this way and that on the water bed of my spent, watery eyes.....I looked again at the computer screen and let out the 3rd one in a long line of royal sighs.

Late in the office, I was checking out my yahoo mails before leaving for the day when I came across a marriage invite from one of my friends at B. Satyam Darmora, Captain Satyam Darmora - a leader of men, with a staunch following of one.

Satyam Darmora - one heck of a hell raiser, but the kind who is very likely to get thrown out of hell for his troubles rather than be crowned its king of mischief..

Nevertheless a guy who is good fun and adventure to hang around with....Satyam Darmora was getting married...and he had sent an e-mail invite - one of those strange creatures with a BIG head and a small body - to the entire batch.

The Head :"All Good Things Come to An End"
The Body: And so has my bachelorhood. :-(Please be there to support me on this occassion. Iwould like to invite you all to please come & shower your wishes and blessings on this rare occasion. Attached is the wedding invite and following are thekey metrics :

[key metrics not inculded in this blog]

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I sighed, closed my eyes, remembered Darmora, and the following words literally poured out from my sensitive (and a lil leaky) soul..
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Many Many Heartiest Congratulations yaar!

Even though time, space and their child - circumstance - conspire against any possibilities of my presence at that really momentous occassion, I assure you that as the tiny stars spin like paper boats in the blue street waters running thousands of miles over blushing maids and cowering grooms in Dehradun, I shall be looking at those very same stars sitting on the bar-grilled bal-cony of my Mumbai flat, currently shared with a couple of guys getting too late for marriage, and as the jewels of time tumble and the moment approaches when you shall be tying yourself into knots as you put those 3 knots around a decieptfully delicate neck I shall close my eyes and breath a deep sigh, the mists of which shall haze the air below my nose making some of my prodigally long nasal hair shiver like fir trees in an icy winter night breeze, and shall remember with respect and awe and a sense of homage the great Captain who never heard an "Aye" the entire heroic part of his life, the Great Captain, who almost won the Lead India Campaign. Now that Captain shall be leading a train of kids, himself lugged by the engine of a wife.

Yeah, my friend, yeah, I shall sit on that lonely fateful black night in my green shorts on the grey balcony, looking beyond the emptiness of air into the inviting, embracing hole of the mouth of my beer bottle, i shall look down its slender, smooth neck and into the sudden yet graceful expanse of its chest, and I shall look down into the tiny bubbles of joy and beauty and promise and hope, and on the tiny, ephemeral, dancing surfaces of those froth bubbles, I shall see mirrored your entranced face as you partook of the same beauty of a beer bottle on L Square nights, with a delicate fervour which made seem that you were kissing the bottle instead of drinking beer from it.

And as the soft magic of the beer spreads warmly in my memory, I shall remember how happy simple things made you - which from that momentous moment in Dehradun would be like poison to you - things, such as a women's legs. Nay my friend, at your very sights they stayed no more legs, but turned into flaming torches, which lighted fires in your eyes, and melted your heart which dripped down your open mouth, and your yearning, burning sighs blew like smoke from a burning coconut hemp. In those moments my friend, I tell you, I could smell a man's conscience burning. But no more shall such heat and fire and light burn you...no more......

...But even in this difficult passage of time, that makes you swallow so difficultly...I know that you can still hold your head up and proud, and say to all those that have gone before you on this path - Hari kishan Mowa, Kiran Babu, Sagar Sahu, Jabba and many many others - you can say to all of them, in the very words of the venerated Shree Atal Bihari Bajpayee....

"Maine ab tak shadi nahin kee,
par iska matlab ye nahin ki maine brahmacharya ka paalan kiya hai"

Happy Married Life Dear Satyam Darmora Captain Saheb,
Your memory shall be enough to give us courage.
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He hasn't yet replied to my words of homage, but I guess he is busy with other things.
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P.S. - This blog is dedicated to Zahra, another anonymous reader, whose kind words made me put this mail up here.