Fire-fly Loves of Mumbai

My dear friend 204, the brilliant voice couched in darkness,
had left a comment on my previous post with the same name as this one.

I sensed the answer floating within me then, but could not entice it to the surface.
Now, something has come up.

By "fire-fly loves" I meant those many momentary romances in the busy city of Mumbai, where young people living away from their families, in stressing jobs seek solace in a faint semblance of love. If there is not total commitment, its fine. They are not seeking a cure for life, they just want a pain killer for loneliness, a band-aid for other relations - family, friends - torn thin by distances.

These loves - in the intense, empty darkness of overcrowded Mumbai - seem to burn as true and bright as sunshine. There is a false, yet glowing warmth in them. Its easy to fall in this love, and far less painful to get out of it.

And for some people that is not only sufficient, but perfect.

These people are veterans of such loves.
With someone this week, and someone else the next.
Chance meetings ending in crumpled bed spreads.
Burning brightly now, dead the next moment.
Its perfect.

What really hurts them, what burns them, is when the embers of one such dead love continue to burn in their memories.
When they frighteningly realise, that perhaps, they have actually fallen in love. The purity of it is a scary thought.

sunshine I didnt seek, for it
binds me
blinds me
The small, glowing, ephemeral intensity
that hugs you tight for a moment, then sets you free
a falling feather from a flying dove
I just wanted a fire-fly love.

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पिशाचार हूँ मैं
निशाचर हूँ मैं
आस नहीं थी मुझको सूरज की
प्यार नहीं माँगा था
पाक नहीं माँगा था
बस एक भूख थी निर्लज सी

तुझ संग खाए कुछ फल यौवन के
पी कुछ बूँदें तेरे तरल मन से
कुछ बूँदें
जो उस रात मदिरा बन छलकी थी
अब कंठ में हलाहल बन जलती हैं
जलती हैं
गीली आग सी पिघलती हैं

बस दो पल साथ चलना था, फ़िर अपने रस्ते जाना था
तुमने भी तो इस शर्त को माना था
.......................फ़िर क्यों ?
फ़िर क्यों अब भी जब भी सांझ ढलती है
तेरी याद मेरे संग संग चलती है........
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प्यार नहीं माँगा था
पाक नहीं माँगा था
आस नहीं थी मुझको सूरज की.